Have you ever struggled to begin a statement of purpose? A bio? A cover letter? Any kind of writing that expresses some truth about who you are? You are not alone. It’s very hard for any of us to see ourselves dispassionately. The personal writing I see tends to skew two ways: grandiose (I am THE BEST!), or self-deprecating (I am THE WORST!).

How do I write about who I am, and my expertise, and my experiences, without falling to one of those ditches along the great writing road? The answer, in my humble opinion, lies in seeking out a mirror for your work.

This does not mean literally holding your document up to reflective glass. It means getting someone you respect to look over your work for you. Another pair of eyes can often spot where the writer is either hiding their truth, or peacocking to cover up a more subtle and powerful truth.

This issue of grandiosity vs. self-deprecation often falls along gendered lines, but not always. Many women believe themselves incapable while many men fancy themselves prophets. The mirror person can help a writer suffering from either affliction. The mirror is more than an editor—we bring the writer to reality. The good thing about reality? It’s usually a better story than the one you were trying to tell.

Writing a memoir is a process of finding the better story, over tens of thousands of words. But? Anyone can do it. Think of that voice running in your head right now! The one that’s saying, well, here I am, it’s Tuesday, I’m not half bad looking and the coffee’s decent, I wonder how my cousin is and what she’s up to, and I remember the first day of high school, and I remember holidays with my grandmother, and I’m looking at this screen reading this blog post about personal writing and how hard it is to take all these life fragments and weave together some kind of story that makes sense to others, and its grey outside and soon there will be taxes to file…

That voice? The running commentary? That’s your inner narrator.

My work as a writing guide is to help people harness that inner narrator. That inner narrator is like a wild Appaloosa, a free-ranging speckled horse running over the hills and valleys of your memories. I speak wild horse language. That’s why I operate this business. I know what kinds of tricks to play to gently tame this wild thing, so used to roaming. I may even convince her that the settled life is more pleasant. Who knows?

It’s so hard to write about yourself because you are yourself. Writing is communication. Communication involves others. Writing is revealing. To reveal is the opposite of to conceal, and to reveal requires another set of eyes. Good personal writing requires someone to bear witness.

I provide one-on-one writing services to help people express the truth of their lives. I believe this truth seeps even into our fiction. If you’re writing a novel, there is certainly room for our work together. I specialize in helping the writer see herself bloom on the page, to see her genius, to honor her expertise. I help the writer feel into his subtle bodies, into his memories, into the soft space of his senses. I help the writer see themselves, full and real, in a way that just can’t happen in the echo chamber of isolated drafting.

If you are not in a place to hire a private consultant for your project, I do recommend getting another person’s opinion anyway. The best writing guidance I have received has often been free. I owe a special debt to the mother of a previous boyfriend whose knack for grammar and whose invitation to my spirit to express my truth, awarded me a Fulbright Research Fellowship.

One word of caution though! A spouse, a parent, a sibling, a best friend—these are often terrible people to go to for writing advice, especially when it comes to your personal writing. Try to find a mirror who doesn’t know you very well, who doesn’t personally have stock in a story they’ve told themselves about you.

So yes, having your sister edit your personal statement can be dangerous. Personal writing is all about catapulting yourself into another dimension of who you can be. Personal writing is all about transforming and transmuting into your next form. I help people with this, often emotional and intense, process.

To discuss working together, please send us an email. Hello [at] brigid [dash] arts [dot] com.